Posted 8:34 PM by Dr_Rock
So the family Rock (including the pebbles' Grandma and Grandad) went to Jersey for a holiday. It all came about because our three-year-old announced that he wanted to go on an aeroplane, and Jersey seemed like a good (though, as it turned out, bloody expensive) idea. And generally a good time was had by all, even though I came home more knackered than when I went. The hotel was all the things you'd expect from a three-star family-orientated hotel (and I mean that in a nice way). But if you want to add your own personal twist to the entertainment when staying at a hotel, try this for size (it works best with buffet-style meals):

Get one of your offspring (for the best effect, the younger the better), to cram so much dinner in his mouth that he can't swallow it properly. Get him to go and stand in front of the dessert selection, and then begin to gag on the aforementioned dinner, so that ultimately it is ejected from the mouth. Placement is crucial - the ejected food should land on the floor, in front of the desserts, but not touching them in any way. Remove your offspring from the area, and make the innocent request to a member of waiting staff for "something to clean the floor".

Then watch as a waitress tries to lay strips of kitchen roll daintily across the area. Then watch in increased amusement as the chef comes out of the kitchens followed by a string of minnions, gesticulates in the direction of the desserts, and walks off, leaving the minnions to remove all the desserts...

There is, of course, a price to pay for this self-generated entertainment: having to list to the hotel duty manager everything the offspring has eaten or drunk in the past 48 hours, as he explains why he can do without the Norwalk virus closing his hotel in the middle of the holiday season.
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Posted 7:36 PM by Dr_Rock
The more observant passers by of this blog will have noticed that it has been updated even less frequently than usual recently. And the most observant of the more observant may also be suffering a sense of deja-vu. However, this hiatus in service was due to a family holiday in Jersey (more of which later).

And no, I'm not normally one for two holidays a year, let alone two holidays a month - it was just the way things turned out.

As it's been a while since I looked at the stats for Turned Out Nice Again, I thought I'd take a look at where the passing traffic had been coming from. To my surprise, a lot of search engine referrals have been coming this way, compared to the usual couple a month (you have to bear in mind that all this is relative - the BBC I ain't).

Nice to see the Knirps umbrella referrals are streaming in from all over the world (who'd have thought it?). And God bless Eastbourne's tennis tournament, as the Maria Sharapova hits boost visitor numbers. Oddly though, people are arriving here in search of "Maria Sharapova sounds", which is even more kinky to my way of thinking than wanting pictures of the young lady - though given that she's only 16, I think we'll stop this thought process here...
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Posted 7:32 PM by Dr_Rock
Eastbourne in June means only one thing - tennis. Back pages, front pages, middle pages and special pull-out supplement. Granted the tournament, as the ladies warm-up for Wimbledon, is important both in tennis terms and in terms of Eastbourne's (inter)national profile, but if you're not a fan of tennis, then there's no need to buy the local newspaper this week.

Ironically, the tournament is sponsored by Hastings Direct (for those not familiar with the geography, Hastings is a nearby seaside resort that might be considered a rival in tourist terms), and this coincides with a resurgence in the tournament's popularity with both the players themselves, and the BBC, who threatened to withdraw TV coverage after last year.

This year, we have "five of the world's top ten women and nine of the leading 20". Further inspection reveals only one of the top five, mind you. Sadly, the male turnout in the crowd will no doubt be disappointed by the withdrawal of Anna Kournikova - not that that's got anything to do with tennis...

According to the tournament director, there is the possibility that Maria Sharapova will be given a wild card. Apparently, she's been described as "the new Anna Kournikova", but this label doesn't stand much scrutiny as Sharapova nearly won a tournament last week...
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Posted 6:10 PM by Dr_Rock
The more observant passers by of this blog will have noticed that it has been updated even less frequently than usual recently. There are many reasons for this - a trip to Yorkshire to visit the in-laws and a rush of paperwork to sort out in order to get a remortgage, planning permission and building control permission to start work on a loft conversion at the end of the month being two of them.

I'd never realised the expense involved in getting a loft conversion off the ground (as far as the second floor, to be exact) - and this is before I actually consider paying the builders to do the building work. There's the architect's drawings for planning permission, planning permission fees, the architect's drawings for building controls, building controls fees, the structural engineer's fees, and the building inspector's fees. Then there's the mortgage consultant's fees, the mortgage arrangement fee, the solicitor's fees and all the associated charges that go with that. And most of it money for old rope, from where I'm sitting. All of which would have my fellow Eastbournian Veryverybored ranting like a trooper, though it might give him some clues as to which career path to follow when he flees the bankrupt telecomms industry...
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Posted 8:30 AM by Dr_Rock
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me-ee
Happy birthday to me

Now I can say that I'm closer to 40 than I am 35. Should I be proud, or worried?
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